Some days it feels like I am riding the TGV (Train à Grande Vitesse, a high-speed train): constantly thinking and doing. It reminds me of a train ride from Paris to southern France I took a few years ago. I got there quickly, but I missed the scenery along the way. As on the train, so in life, when you constantly think and do, the scenery gets hazy, indistinct. You are out of contact with … Read more…
At a meeting of 20 scientists and 6 lab technicians in a research and development company, one of the technicians, Sharon, unexpectedly bursts into tears. She describes how “pulled apart” she feels by all the competing needs and priorities of the scientists, and she wails, “I am so frustrated that I can’t do the quality of work I want to do because there is just too much of it, and there is no way to … Read more…
Eighty people sit in groups of four around small tables spread across a gymnasium floor. The topic is water, always a touchy subject in California. This time, however, the problem isn’t having too little water; it’s having too much. The state “owns” the water and grants rights to use it to various agencies throughout the state. There’s a catch, however: If you don’t use what you’ve been licensed to use, you can lose rights to … Read more…
What do you want to accomplish at work or in your community? Who do you need to work with to get it done? What’s the most effective way to interact with them to achieve your goal? You prime how you interact with others by clarifying your intention towards them. Is your intention simply to look good, appear smart, and dazzle people with your brilliance? Is it to convince them of the rightness of your goal … Read more…
In anticipation of the release of my book this Fall, I will be highlighting content from “Talk Matters: Saving the World One Word at a Time” here in my blog. I hope as you read, we will grow as colleagues because I’m looking for people who will save the world with me. Specifically, colleagues who will save the world by talking better together—together with those we must work with to get things done for our … Read more…
Instead of dog droppings, my longtime friend and teacher Angeles Arrien puts it more elegantly: “Watch your wake.” A “wake” is the wave pattern or turbulence on the water’s surface caused by a moving object, like a boat. If you have been in a boat on a lake when a larger and/or faster boat moves past you, you know how much disturbance exists in its wake. In recent meetings, I was reminded about the impact … Read more…
When Roger James and I teach listening skills, we ask people to look at a list of “non-listening behaviors.” The list includes thirteen actions including the usual culprits of interrupting, advising or persuading, and pseudo-questions (“Don’t you think that…?”) When we ask people if there are any surprises on the list they invariably ask why “agreeing or disagreeing” is on the list of non-listening behaviors. Here’s why. When you listen you are trying to understand … Read more…
I recently had the privilege of speaking at the New Leaders Council Annual Retreat in Washington, DC. One of the other speakers was Valerie Jarrett, Senior Advisor to President Barack Obama. In her informal talk, she said, “Talent is ubiquitous and opportunities are few.” I agree with the first part of her statement and want to challenge the second. If “opportunities” means positions, like an elected or non-elected official or a manager or supervisor, I … Read more…
For years, my practice has been and continues to be focused on helping people have meaningful conversations about things that matter so they can do good things for the world, together. This intention inspires me every day in my work with organizations and communities. Underneath this focus is one core value and one belief. The core value is that those who will be affected by decisions have the right to be involved in influencing those … Read more…
A CEO of a hospital to which I consulted once asserted that how he and the managers treated the employees was important because it affected how they treated patients. Although this was years ago, it strikes me as true today as it did then. Only, it is not just in hospitals. It is in all organizations and all sectors. Employees tend to treat customers or clients as they are treated, just as civil servants are … Read more…