Speaking Inclusively

When we speak, we communicate our opinions. Unfortunately, we often think our opinions are “THE TRUTH.” When we convey them as such, we threaten people’s sense of safety and undermine our relationships. This is not helpful because working with others is the key to getting things done. So the question is how can we communicate what we think in ways that maintain or strengthen relationships so people can collaborate productively? Speaking inclusively is one way … Read more…

Each of us is Unique. None of us is Special.

How can we be both unique and not special? It’s a paradox. We are unique in many ways. No one has the same DNA, fingerprints, voice, or irises as you do. No one has the same life experiences that you do. No one has had the same opportunities and challenges that you have had. The world would not be the same without you. Our meetings at work or in our communities would not be the … Read more…

Good Intentions Do Not Pardon Bad Impact

We tend to judge ourselves by our intentions and judge others by their impact on us. In other words, we think we have good intentions and that our impact on others should be perceived as such. When someone else’s impact on us is negative, we may assume their intentions are bad. Intentions and impacts are often not clear. First, our intentions don’t always have the impact we intend. We can’t assume that what we intended … Read more…

2016: The Year of Pausing

We have pause buttons on our electronic devices. We need one on us that grabs our attention when we need to push it. Recently, in a conversation about a controversial issue with members of my family, I got surprised, hijacked by emotions, and forgot that I actually have a pause button. I was reactive (“How could you believe THAT?”) and got even more hijacked by being embarrassed that I was upset (“I know better than … Read more…