The Wisdom Body

  Once upon a time one of my dear friends quipped, “My body? It’s just a garage for my brain.” I chortled, recognizing my own perspective. Her name was Mary too. This was several decades ago. Now, I know better. The body is not an empty structure in which to park anything. Nor is it anything to unconsciously push around as if it were an object, subject to my demands or anyone else’s.  The Body … Read more…

Approaching with Reverence

What you encounter, recognize or discover depends to a large degree on the quality of your approach. Many of the ancient cultures practiced careful rituals of approach. An encounter of depth and spirit was preceded by careful preparation. When we approach with reverence, great things decide to approach us. Our real life comes to the surface and its light awakens the concealed beauty in things. When we walk on the earth with reverence, beauty will … Read more…

Systems Thinking for an Interconnected World

Are you trying to tackle a problem that, despite everyone’s best efforts, does not go away? Are you trying to optimize your part of an organization without considering the impact on the system as a whole because it seems too complicated or too effortful to do otherwise? Are you afraid your short-term efforts might undermine your intention to solve a problem in the long-term? Are a number of groups working on the same issue at … Read more…

The Power of Silences

Early in my career I had the privilege of working with an all Native-American Board of a foundation in the northwest and with the Board of a Buddhist Monastery. In each meeting, they taught me the power of silences: both spontaneous and planned. People around the world cultivate silence as a source of equanimity, creativity, and wisdom. For example, silence is an essential element in indigenous ways of knowing and healing as well as in … Read more…

Networks of Conversations

Conversations, aka meetings, are the sine qua non of organizations and communities. They are how things get done. “Is there anything that matters that isn’t done through conversations?” asks Steve Zaffron and Dave Logan, authors of The Three Laws of Performance. Planning, problem solving, policy setting, coaching or staying up-to-date with colleagues: all of these occur through conversations. In addition, meeting conversations feed into other ones. Managers develop a recommendation for a board of directors. … Read more…

6.5 Lessons From Basketball

Once they squeaked by the Houston Rockets, it was predictable that the Golden State Warriors would squash the Cleveland Cavaliers in the National Basketball League Finals. For those of you who are not basketball fans bear with me for a moment. Let me show you how lessons from basketball can make your meetings more effective. I begin with a personal note. I was born and raised in Springfield, Massachusetts where basketball was invented by Dr. … Read more…

Possibilities of Good Conversation

“I want to stay as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can’t see from the center.” — Kurt Vonnegut

When I asked a group of 50 members of the Silicon Valley Organization Development Network during my presentation in June about the role of good conversations in creating change, here is what some of them said:

  • Encouraging collective wisdom to emerge
  • Expanding knowledge and perspective
  • Growing healthy relationships
  • Creating something more than and beyond what each individual brings
  • Creating a sense of shared ownership

How might you and your meetings change for the better if you thought of them as opportunities for good conversations? What possibilities might you discover if you dedicated at least one meeting or conversation a month to expanding people’s perspectives, inviting their wisdom into the room, and strengthening your relationships?

The recipe for a good conversation includes asking questions of genuine curiosity, opening to truly understand the perspectives of others, listening as if your life depended on it, sharing your highest aspirations and deepest concerns, and remaining connected to yourself and others when you disagree and when you don’t know, when the way forward is unclear. Good conversation goes to the edge of what you know and steps into the uncertain to create something beyond what individuals bring.

Perhaps there’s a conversation you’ve been hoping to have about a question you’ve been mulling or a nascent idea you’ve been chewing on or an emerging issue that is worrying you. Invite others to join you on the edge and see what possibilities good conversation stimulates.

Mary’s book—“Talk Matters! Saving the World One Word at a Time”—was named one of the best indie books of 2017.  Click here to purchase it.

Seeking the Great Perhaps

“I am going to seek the great perhaps.” These were Francois Rablais’ last words according to his biographer Peter Anthony Motteux. Rabelais was a French renaissance writer, physician, humanist, monk and Greek scholar.* I sincerely hope that none of us have to wait until our final words to seek the great perhaps in our conversations. To me the “great perhaps” hints at what might be possible in the future, including when we engage in “good … Read more…

I Get Scared When…

When do you get scared in conversations or meetings? You might call it “challenged,” “anxious,” or “threatened.” However, underneath our adult bravado, it remains what we called it as children: “scared.” Here’s how a few of the 50 consultants at a talk I gave last week at the Silicon Valley Organization Development Network completed this sentence: “I get scared when…” — “I think someone is angry with me and his or her voice escalates. I’m … Read more…

Conversation Is A Team Sport

I enjoy watching basketball, especially during the National Basketball Association (NBA) playoffs when the level of skill and teamwork approach their apex. The team that wins is usually the one that plays as a team instead of one in which one or two players hog the ball. Just as in conversation, individual skills matter but skill and teamwork matter more. Used in tandem, they raise everyone’s level of play. Certain individual skills increase teamwork on … Read more…